Photograph courtesy of Carol Rey
When you call Carol Rey, CEO and founder of the Elite School of Etiquette, you may get her voicemail, which ends with the following mantra: “Great manners and dining skills can take you places that your friends and family can’t.”
Rey works as a third-grade schoolteacher at Henderson Mill Elementary during the week. Outside of her teaching duties, she runs an etiquette school to help motivated Atlantans acquire or refine skills for social and professional success, oftentimes in a dining setting, a critical proving ground for some. She recounts how two clients came seeking counsel after displays of poor dining skills proved disastrous; one was shunned at the country club, and another lost out in the final round of applying to a private school.
She offers one-on-one and group classes, sometimes in a private setting, other times partnering with Maggiano’s or The Capital Grille. “This is our lab,” Rey tells clients when they meet at a restaurant. “At this lab, we get to make mistakes. And if I see them, I’m going to correct you immediately. Because how else do we learn?”
With dining in mind, we asked Rey a few questions from Atlanta magazine staffers:
Atlanta: Is “no elbows on the table” still a thing?
Carol Rey: Yes, it’s still a thing, but the only difference is that if there’s no food on the table, elbows are allowed. But as soon as food touches the table, then the elbows are off.
Atlanta: I hate devices at the table while dining out. What are some other ways to engage my child that are restaurant appropriate?
Rey: In conversation, talk about their day. So that means you might need to be prepared yourself, because a lot of times, we may be coming from work. We just pick the kids up, take them to eat, and then it’s kind of like, Oh, I need some down time, so we put the cell phones in their faces. Try to prepare some fun questions, or maybe play tic-tac-toe, something that’s engaging, especially if it’s an informal situation.
Atlanta: What do you do if someone in your party is rude or abusive to the waitstaff?
Rey: I would actually speak to that person and say, “You know, it would be a good idea for us to do things that are positive so that we can enjoy the evening.”
Atlanta: What do you do with your napkin when you must get up in the middle of the meal? Table or chair?
Rey: You would put it in your chair and make sure that your utensils are crossed and placed at the base of the plate. It tells the server to keep out and that you’re coming back.
Atlanta: What do you do when someone in your party picks up the check and leaves what you think is an inadequate tip?
Rey: If you feel moved to do so and you have cash, I would say that if the person has left already, then you can add to the tip. But if the person is still there, you may make an offer and say, “I really felt as though they did an amazing job. I would love to add to that.”
This article appears in our May 2025 issue.
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